Gavin, I think this is a really creative project! When I saw that someone was doing their project over stories with dogs, I had to check it out and you did not disappoint me! To begin, I really like the layout that you have. It is easy to get around and the picture that you chose really puts you into the story. One thing I was curious about was why did the squirrel not have a name? Is it because he does not have an owner like the dog, Bosco, does? Also, I noticed you had a small typo at the beginning in which squirrel was capitalized. Maybe you can bring the squirrel and dog story back by doing your own spin on the story of Rama's squirrels that helped build the bridge to Lanka when searching for Sita. I think you have a lot of options with this topic so I am sure your project will turn out great!
Hi Gavin! I just wanted to start by saying that your website is so well laid out and has so many cute pictures of dogs! It was really easy to read and navigate around the page. The story about the dog and the squirrel is cute and well written. I was afraid the dog was going to eat the squirrel and was glad that he didn't. I liked how they became friends instead and learned to respect each other. I noticed the story was a little short though. Have you thought about writing it in first person? Third person is good to but it would be interesting to see what the story is like from a dog's perspective. Third person is good to but it just needs a little more details but other than that the story is very creative and I can't wait to read your other stories about dogs and other little creatures.
Hi Gavin! I really enjoyed your story. The whole time I was reading it I could picture everything that was happening. I think that the picture that you put at the beginning of your story was a great idea because I had that image in my head throughout the entire time I was reading. I was personally able to relate to your story because I used to have a dog when I was little that would chase squirrels all over our backyard. It reminded me of my old dog while reading this and I really liked that. Something that I think you could do to add a little more depth to your story would be to include comments or thoughts from the squirrel. What was the squirrel thinking throughout this? Why did the squirrel keep on coming back to Bosco's yard even though it knew that it could potentially get eaten? Did the squirrel like Bosco's yard because of a particular tree or did he just like to drive Bosco bananas? Good luck on the rest of your stories! I look forward to reading them!
Hi Gavin! Wow! Your story is so creative. I really like how you changed the characters to be more relatable. I could picture everything that was happening. What if you stated the source of the squirrel being mean to Bosco? Did Bosco do something to him or did he just hate dogs? Also, for length (if you wanted) you could give the squirrel a bigger role in the story. I also agree with Chandni's comment, what if this was in Bosco's perspective, or even the squirrels? One thing I noticed in this sentence, "He realized that the squirrel always was standing in the same spot in the yard," was that it is a little confusing. I understand what you are saying, but I had to re-read it a few times to be sure. What if you said, he realized that the squirrel was always in the same spot? I feel like this would make the sentence less confusing. Overall your story is great and I really enjoyed getting to read a story about dogs. Great job and I look forward to reading more
Hey Gavin! Wow! That a really nice and creative way to write a story. I could never imagine that you can write a story of a monkey and the crocodile story like that you just blew my mind. Your picture also helped a lot too because it gave this story a good foundation to imagine how the story can be imagined. I wonder if you had third person or animal in there like a cat, mouse, or a bird. Then the story would have been really interesting because dog chase the cat and the cat chases the squirrel and they all try to outsmart each other but never succeed. Then just think it would have been a really fun story. What if you changed the part where the dog does not let go the squirrel and kills it and then the squirrel family member try to get revenge for their brother who died.
I thought that your portfolio theme was really cool! I am a huge dog person myself, so I was really excited to see that. I think the cover page looks great. You did a great job with finding an applicable image. I think the story is great. I liked how light-hearted and fun it was for the dog and the squirrel. It was interesting to see Bosco's conflict. He came up with a clever way to finally trap the squirrel. I was happy once Bosco earned the respect of the squirrel. He was no longer seen as a stupid dog. I am curious to see if there will be a sequel to this story. It would be fun to read more about the games they played after this day. There are a lot of possibilities available for new additions to the story. I look forward to reading what you write next!
Hello Gavin! I really like your story and how it involves animals we see on a daily basis, rather than the crocodile and monkey that were in the original story! The layout of the page is nice and doesn't seem to be cluttered. There is a lot of free space on the page which keeps the reader relaxed and eager to keep reading the story. The ending was a happy one where they reached a compromise and became friends who respected each other. A suggestion to make your story better would be to have more details of the squirrel and the dog and what they do throughout the day. It could be a possibility to add more interactions with the owners and the dog to make the story more interesting, and also maybe a conflict with the owners and the squirrel, making the dog defend the squirrel? Great job with your story and I can't wait to read more of your work throughout this semester!
I think that your story idea is great, adorable, and has a lot of promise. I just hope that you don't pigeon-hole yourself, in a sense, to retell unconnected stories, connecting them only by adding a dog as a substitution to one of the animals in the story. To give your portfolio better diversity and intrigue, it might be good to tell non-animal stories using the dog outline you've chosen. For example, Rama's brother is loyal as a dog, and you could retell some story between the two brothers, but they're dogs instead. I am curious where you go with this, but it might be a good idea to broaden your scope a bit. Or, maybe, research is needed to weed out stories in the Indian epics that utilize dog or dog-like creatures. I enjoy your writing style, especially your dialogue. It's crisp and interesting, and I didn't struggle to keep reading. Great job!
Hey Gavin! I really like the pictures that you posted on for each part of the story! That gives me ideas for how I want to do my blog too! One thing I really appreciate is how each new story will be based on a different dog!! I love the idea of having a new dog each time and a different story and I think it is hilarious! Using dogs as your characters to modernize the Western literature and eastern ones show strong parallel between what the two things have in common! One thing that I was wondering about throughout the story is why the squirrel did not have a name in the whole story? In a way by not having a name, the story is really interesting and mysterious kind of like a mysterious murder case story where the reader does not know what is going on until it is later in the story. Perhaps some background story into the feelings of the animals would draw the readers into it and make the story a lot more immersive! There seems to be so much background stuff that could be dug into and that is something that I am looking forward to reading as you update your stories!
Gavin, my first thing I noticed on your site was how the layout was somewhat confusing for me on the home page, due to the two columns of text with one being the main information and the other being the caption. A change of font or size, or making the caption in italics might be a fix to alleviate this confusion. The theme of your blog is exceptionally interesting, and accessible due to most people having a love of dogs. The story is a good retelling of the original Jataka in a modern setting, and really made it something that almost everyone could identify with. The paragraph size really helps tell the story, because it keeps every burst of action short and focused, and helps the reader visualize the time between events. I do not really have any edits to suggest on the story, and I look forward to reading more of your work in the future.
Hi Gavin! Thanks for sharing your story with us. I really enjoyed the imagery you portrayed here and captioning the characters while also taking care of the background imagery as well. The creativity written here was outstandingly done and I really can tell you have strong writing skills by the way you use certain vernacular and language. The plot really is formed well and flows with the story. I appreciated the amount of strong comparison and contrasting between the characters with in the story. No edits really are necessary, honestly just elaborating more would make it even better but I don't really see a need for it. I really enjoyed reading and hope to read more of your work soon! Have a great week 7 in this class!
Hey Gavin, Read both of your stories this week and I really enjoyed the aspect of turning these epics into stories about dogs. I loved the photos used as well, I felt they went really well with the premise of your stories. I really liked the dialogue in the stories as well. I liked the modern telling of your stories. Look forward to reading more of your stories.
Hello Gavin, The way you decided to create your portfolio is hilarious and I love it so much. Animals are my favorite. I read your story: "The Chase" and absolutely loved the way you completely recreated the story all while keeping the moral of the story true. I was amazed at how your turned the story into a story involving a dog as well. I always have trouble being creative when retelling stories, but you did an absolutely amazing job. Also the anticipation, when the squirrel was approaching the dog, really kept me entranced within the story. I did not know whether or not the dog would kill the squirrel. The ending was nice, that the dog and squirrel sort of became friends and played their game. I wonder how often the squirrel lets Bosco win the game. In order to keep true to the agreement would he not have to?
Hey there again, Gavin! I decided to stop by again and see what you have been working on for the past few weeks. I really liked your portfolio idea, and I was eager to see what else you have created. The first thing I noticed was the updated home page. The background image looks great! I like how you added in an image for the first story. I really enjoyed your second story. I like how you took the traditional story of Rama and Sita and incorporated dogs and modern elements into your story. I think that this story is very important to the Ramayana. It was nice to see that you did not stray too far from the source in your story. You managed to keep the overall theme the same while adding in your own personal voice as an author. This is something that can be very hard to accomplish, but you handled it with ease. I look forward to seeing what you create next!
Hi Gavin! I absolutely love the idea you used for your portfolio. I immediately fell in love with the website as soon as I saw the banner image of a dog and knew I would enjoy reading the stories. The images are too cute! I also like that you made the stories more modern so that they’re easier to follow and understand since most of us are not used to reading stories from that time period. I like the spacing you used between the paragraphs in your story. The use of dialogue between the squirrel and Bosco also does a great job of mixing up sentence structure to keep the audience engaged in your story. I ended up writing a similar story to Chase by changing the characters in the story except that I used different animals. Maybe you could change the banner image on each story with the photo you have right under the banner image.
First, your project stuck out to me because it is entitles Dog Stories. Like who would not be drawn to a project with that title. Great idea!
Now to the feedback. Both of your stories are written well and have a great detail within them. They were very enjoyable to read. I also like the dialogue you incorporated with in the first story (Chase). I think dialogue is important and helps readers really connect with a story. I wonder how the tone of the story would change if you had Bosco eat the squirrel and not show mercy. What if you incorporated more of dark tone to Chase? Maybe make it more evil and show how the squirrel had a background of doing more than making fun of the dog? Just a thought. I really like both of your stories and I am looking forward to seeing how your project improves as the semester goes on. Thanks for sharing!
Hey , Gavin I just read your story and I really enjoyed the reasoning behind the story and how you based it off of Rama and Sita love they had for each other. the fact that I can tell you like animals like I do because both of your stories are based off of animals. I really enjoyed this one verse your first one simply because not only does it deal with animals but love is involved. This was a good turn out story. Wolf's are powerful and strong creatures and at the same time they are loving and caring animals. Wolf's are mysterious animals you never know the next move of wolf's. they a were very sly , so using them as character was a good pick, because Rama was being very sly trying to get Sita attention. Overall, this second story was really good, the moral behind the story was the same as the original story. Good job and I look forward to seeing the rest.
Hey Gavin! First of all, I love the whole premise of your project! It is so creative and fun, and I never thought of creating a theme throughout my portfolio so I think it is cool that you did! It is like a hybrid of the storybook and portfolio, and it is super interesting. One thing that I did notice, is that you do not have a link to your blog and comments on your project site, which makes it difficult to find if you just clicked on the blog because of the dog picture in the randomized section on the side like I did. One thing that you should look into is how to format dialogue, it is a little different than just added quotes, and I think it would really help the flow of the overall story. I loved reading your first two installments of your portfolio and cannot wait to see what else you write!
Hi Gavin! I loved your stories so much. Dogs are the best animals, and I really like the concept of using them as the protagonists in stories based on various Indian Epics. It just makes all the tales so much more fun and whimsical. I also really liked the way that Bosco was in both stories. It created a strange bit of continuity that I was not expecting, so that was nice. I noticed you don't have a link to your comment wall on your portfolio, which is an issue. In addition to that, I think your site could benefit by changing the banner photo for each page to one that is a little more relevant to each story, rather than having the same dog be on all of them. Not only does this let each story have more photos to help describe it, but it lets the reader enjoy even more sweet puppies.
Gavin, at first, I thought I had already read through your project because I remember reading your first story "The Daily Chase". Turns out I had read it on your class webpage at commented on it there. I had really enjoyed your change in characters using dogs so I was happy to read the second story and that it was also from the perspective of dogs. Since I am a dog owner the stories seem more relatable. It took me a minute to realize that Bosco was in the second story too but I was glad you continued on with the character. It might be helpful to have a marker indicating when Bosco starts his part of the story to separate the two. I like how Penny and Bosco have a love for each other but are kept apart because of their owners. It is a bitter sweet love story. I hope a future story the couple can come together again. Great story and project, I cannot wait to come back and see how your final project turns out!
Hi Gavin! Wow, I was truly intrigued with the central theme of "dogs" for your Portfolio so I decided to read what it was all about, and I must say that this is such a creative Portfolio you have put together! With the current two stories you have published, I believe that you really accomplished your goal of making the Indian epic stories modern and personable because c'mon who does not love dogs, right?! What struck out to me the most was how you incorporated "Chase" and "Love from a Jingle" together with the character Bosco. Whether you meant to do that or not, I enjoyed how Bosco tied the two stories together. With both of your stories, even though they are based on dogs, they conveyed the messages of The Crocodile in the River, and of Sita and Rama. My only concern would be that in "Love from a Jingle," I originally thought that Buddy was Rama and not Bosco, and maybe other readers might think this as well. Even though it is clear as one reads on that Bosco represents Rama, you could say something in the beginning of the story like "Penny and her best childhood friend, Buddy..." Overall, great stories and I cannot wait to read the remaining stories you will create!
Gavin, I think this is a really creative project! When I saw that someone was doing their project over stories with dogs, I had to check it out and you did not disappoint me! To begin, I really like the layout that you have. It is easy to get around and the picture that you chose really puts you into the story. One thing I was curious about was why did the squirrel not have a name? Is it because he does not have an owner like the dog, Bosco, does? Also, I noticed you had a small typo at the beginning in which squirrel was capitalized. Maybe you can bring the squirrel and dog story back by doing your own spin on the story of Rama's squirrels that helped build the bridge to Lanka when searching for Sita. I think you have a lot of options with this topic so I am sure your project will turn out great!
ReplyDeleteHi Gavin! I just wanted to start by saying that your website is so well laid out and has so many cute pictures of dogs! It was really easy to read and navigate around the page. The story about the dog and the squirrel is cute and well written. I was afraid the dog was going to eat the squirrel and was glad that he didn't. I liked how they became friends instead and learned to respect each other. I noticed the story was a little short though. Have you thought about writing it in first person? Third person is good to but it would be interesting to see what the story is like from a dog's perspective. Third person is good to but it just needs a little more details but other than that the story is very creative and I can't wait to read your other stories about dogs and other little creatures.
ReplyDeleteHi Gavin! I really enjoyed your story. The whole time I was reading it I could picture everything that was happening. I think that the picture that you put at the beginning of your story was a great idea because I had that image in my head throughout the entire time I was reading. I was personally able to relate to your story because I used to have a dog when I was little that would chase squirrels all over our backyard. It reminded me of my old dog while reading this and I really liked that.
ReplyDeleteSomething that I think you could do to add a little more depth to your story would be to include comments or thoughts from the squirrel. What was the squirrel thinking throughout this? Why did the squirrel keep on coming back to Bosco's yard even though it knew that it could potentially get eaten? Did the squirrel like Bosco's yard because of a particular tree or did he just like to drive Bosco bananas?
Good luck on the rest of your stories! I look forward to reading them!
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteHi Gavin! Wow! Your story is so creative. I really like how you changed the characters to be more relatable. I could picture everything that was happening. What if you stated the source of the squirrel being mean to Bosco? Did Bosco do something to him or did he just hate dogs? Also, for length (if you wanted) you could give the squirrel a bigger role in the story. I also agree with Chandni's comment, what if this was in Bosco's perspective, or even the squirrels? One thing I noticed in this sentence, "He realized that the squirrel always was standing in the same spot in the yard," was that it is a little confusing. I understand what you are saying, but I had to re-read it a few times to be sure. What if you said, he realized that the squirrel was always in the same spot? I feel like this would make the sentence less confusing. Overall your story is great and I really enjoyed getting to read a story about dogs. Great job and I look forward to reading more
ReplyDeleteHey Gavin! Wow! That a really nice and creative way to write a story. I could never imagine that you can write a story of a monkey and the crocodile story like that you just blew my mind. Your picture also helped a lot too because it gave this story a good foundation to imagine how the story can be imagined. I wonder if you had third person or animal in there like a cat, mouse, or a bird. Then the story would have been really interesting because dog chase the cat and the cat chases the squirrel and they all try to outsmart each other but never succeed. Then just think it would have been a really fun story. What if you changed the part where the dog does not let go the squirrel and kills it and then the squirrel family member try to get revenge for their brother who died.
ReplyDeleteHey there, Gavin!
ReplyDeleteI thought that your portfolio theme was really cool! I am a huge dog person myself, so I was really excited to see that. I think the cover page looks great. You did a great job with finding an applicable image. I think the story is great. I liked how light-hearted and fun it was for the dog and the squirrel. It was interesting to see Bosco's conflict. He came up with a clever way to finally trap the squirrel. I was happy once Bosco earned the respect of the squirrel. He was no longer seen as a stupid dog. I am curious to see if there will be a sequel to this story. It would be fun to read more about the games they played after this day. There are a lot of possibilities available for new additions to the story. I look forward to reading what you write next!
Hello Gavin!
ReplyDeleteI really like your story and how it involves animals we see on a daily basis, rather than the crocodile and monkey that were in the original story! The layout of the page is nice and doesn't seem to be cluttered. There is a lot of free space on the page which keeps the reader relaxed and eager to keep reading the story. The ending was a happy one where they reached a compromise and became friends who respected each other. A suggestion to make your story better would be to have more details of the squirrel and the dog and what they do throughout the day. It could be a possibility to add more interactions with the owners and the dog to make the story more interesting, and also maybe a conflict with the owners and the squirrel, making the dog defend the squirrel? Great job with your story and I can't wait to read more of your work throughout this semester!
Hi Gavin!
ReplyDeleteI think that your story idea is great, adorable, and has a lot of promise. I just hope that you don't pigeon-hole yourself, in a sense, to retell unconnected stories, connecting them only by adding a dog as a substitution to one of the animals in the story. To give your portfolio better diversity and intrigue, it might be good to tell non-animal stories using the dog outline you've chosen. For example, Rama's brother is loyal as a dog, and you could retell some story between the two brothers, but they're dogs instead. I am curious where you go with this, but it might be a good idea to broaden your scope a bit. Or, maybe, research is needed to weed out stories in the Indian epics that utilize dog or dog-like creatures. I enjoy your writing style, especially your dialogue. It's crisp and interesting, and I didn't struggle to keep reading. Great job!
Hey Gavin! I really like the pictures that you posted on for each part of the story! That gives me ideas for how I want to do my blog too! One thing I really appreciate is how each new story will be based on a different dog!! I love the idea of having a new dog each time and a different story and I think it is hilarious! Using dogs as your characters to modernize the Western literature and eastern ones show strong parallel between what the two things have in common! One thing that I was wondering about throughout the story is why the squirrel did not have a name in the whole story? In a way by not having a name, the story is really interesting and mysterious kind of like a mysterious murder case story where the reader does not know what is going on until it is later in the story. Perhaps some background story into the feelings of the animals would draw the readers into it and make the story a lot more immersive! There seems to be so much background stuff that could be dug into and that is something that I am looking forward to reading as you update your stories!
ReplyDeleteGavin, my first thing I noticed on your site was how the layout was somewhat confusing for me on the home page, due to the two columns of text with one being the main information and the other being the caption. A change of font or size, or making the caption in italics might be a fix to alleviate this confusion. The theme of your blog is exceptionally interesting, and accessible due to most people having a love of dogs. The story is a good retelling of the original Jataka in a modern setting, and really made it something that almost everyone could identify with. The paragraph size really helps tell the story, because it keeps every burst of action short and focused, and helps the reader visualize the time between events. I do not really have any edits to suggest on the story, and I look forward to reading more of your work in the future.
ReplyDeleteHi Gavin! Thanks for sharing your story with us. I really enjoyed the imagery you portrayed here and captioning the characters while also taking care of the background imagery as well. The creativity written here was outstandingly done and I really can tell you have strong writing skills by the way you use certain vernacular and language. The plot really is formed well and flows with the story. I appreciated the amount of strong comparison and contrasting between the characters with in the story. No edits really are necessary, honestly just elaborating more would make it even better but I don't really see a need for it. I really enjoyed reading and hope to read more of your work soon! Have a great week 7 in this class!
ReplyDeleteHey Gavin,
ReplyDeleteRead both of your stories this week and I really enjoyed the aspect of turning these epics into stories about dogs. I loved the photos used as well, I felt they went really well with the premise of your stories. I really liked the dialogue in the stories as well. I liked the modern telling of your stories. Look forward to reading more of your stories.
Hello Gavin,
ReplyDeleteThe way you decided to create your portfolio is hilarious and I love it so much. Animals are my favorite. I read your story: "The Chase" and absolutely loved the way you completely recreated the story all while keeping the moral of the story true. I was amazed at how your turned the story into a story involving a dog as well. I always have trouble being creative when retelling stories, but you did an absolutely amazing job. Also the anticipation, when the squirrel was approaching the dog, really kept me entranced within the story. I did not know whether or not the dog would kill the squirrel. The ending was nice, that the dog and squirrel sort of became friends and played their game. I wonder how often the squirrel lets Bosco win the game. In order to keep true to the agreement would he not have to?
Hey there again, Gavin!
ReplyDeleteI decided to stop by again and see what you have been working on for the past few weeks. I really liked your portfolio idea, and I was eager to see what else you have created. The first thing I noticed was the updated home page. The background image looks great! I like how you added in an image for the first story. I really enjoyed your second story. I like how you took the traditional story of Rama and Sita and incorporated dogs and modern elements into your story. I think that this story is very important to the Ramayana. It was nice to see that you did not stray too far from the source in your story. You managed to keep the overall theme the same while adding in your own personal voice as an author. This is something that can be very hard to accomplish, but you handled it with ease. I look forward to seeing what you create next!
Hi Gavin! I absolutely love the idea you used for your portfolio. I immediately fell in love with the website as soon as I saw the banner image of a dog and knew I would enjoy reading the stories. The images are too cute! I also like that you made the stories more modern so that they’re easier to follow and understand since most of us are not used to reading stories from that time period. I like the spacing you used between the paragraphs in your story. The use of dialogue between the squirrel and Bosco also does a great job of mixing up sentence structure to keep the audience engaged in your story. I ended up writing a similar story to Chase by changing the characters in the story except that I used different animals. Maybe you could change the banner image on each story with the photo you have right under the banner image.
ReplyDeleteHey Gavin,
ReplyDeleteFirst, your project stuck out to me because it is entitles Dog Stories. Like who would not be drawn to a project with that title. Great idea!
Now to the feedback. Both of your stories are written well and have a great detail within them. They were very enjoyable to read. I also like the dialogue you incorporated with in the first story (Chase). I think dialogue is important and helps readers really connect with a story. I wonder how the tone of the story would change if you had Bosco eat the squirrel and not show mercy. What if you incorporated more of dark tone to Chase? Maybe make it more evil and show how the squirrel had a background of doing more than making fun of the dog? Just a thought. I really like both of your stories and I am looking forward to seeing how your project improves as the semester goes on. Thanks for sharing!
Hey , Gavin
ReplyDeleteI just read your story and I really enjoyed the reasoning behind the story and how you based it off of Rama and Sita love they had for each other. the fact that I can tell you like animals like I do because both of your stories are based off of animals. I really enjoyed this one verse your first one simply because not only does it deal with animals but love is involved. This was a good turn out story. Wolf's are powerful and strong creatures and at the same time they are loving and caring animals. Wolf's are mysterious animals you never know the next move of wolf's. they a were very sly , so using them as character was a good pick, because Rama was being very sly trying to get Sita attention. Overall, this second story was really good, the moral behind the story was the same as the original story. Good job and I look forward to seeing the rest.
Hey Gavin!
ReplyDeleteFirst of all, I love the whole premise of your project! It is so creative and fun, and I never thought of creating a theme throughout my portfolio so I think it is cool that you did! It is like a hybrid of the storybook and portfolio, and it is super interesting. One thing that I did notice, is that you do not have a link to your blog and comments on your project site, which makes it difficult to find if you just clicked on the blog because of the dog picture in the randomized section on the side like I did. One thing that you should look into is how to format dialogue, it is a little different than just added quotes, and I think it would really help the flow of the overall story. I loved reading your first two installments of your portfolio and cannot wait to see what else you write!
Hi Gavin! I loved your stories so much. Dogs are the best animals, and I really like the concept of using them as the protagonists in stories based on various Indian Epics. It just makes all the tales so much more fun and whimsical. I also really liked the way that Bosco was in both stories. It created a strange bit of continuity that I was not expecting, so that was nice. I noticed you don't have a link to your comment wall on your portfolio, which is an issue. In addition to that, I think your site could benefit by changing the banner photo for each page to one that is a little more relevant to each story, rather than having the same dog be on all of them. Not only does this let each story have more photos to help describe it, but it lets the reader enjoy even more sweet puppies.
ReplyDeleteGavin, at first, I thought I had already read through your project because I remember reading your first story "The Daily Chase". Turns out I had read it on your class webpage at commented on it there. I had really enjoyed your change in characters using dogs so I was happy to read the second story and that it was also from the perspective of dogs. Since I am a dog owner the stories seem more relatable. It took me a minute to realize that Bosco was in the second story too but I was glad you continued on with the character. It might be helpful to have a marker indicating when Bosco starts his part of the story to separate the two. I like how Penny and Bosco have a love for each other but are kept apart because of their owners. It is a bitter sweet love story. I hope a future story the couple can come together again. Great story and project, I cannot wait to come back and see how your final project turns out!
ReplyDeleteHi Gavin! Wow, I was truly intrigued with the central theme of "dogs" for your Portfolio so I decided to read what it was all about, and I must say that this is such a creative Portfolio you have put together! With the current two stories you have published, I believe that you really accomplished your goal of making the Indian epic stories modern and personable because c'mon who does not love dogs, right?! What struck out to me the most was how you incorporated "Chase" and "Love from a Jingle" together with the character Bosco. Whether you meant to do that or not, I enjoyed how Bosco tied the two stories together. With both of your stories, even though they are based on dogs, they conveyed the messages of The Crocodile in the River, and of Sita and Rama. My only concern would be that in "Love from a Jingle," I originally thought that Buddy was Rama and not Bosco, and maybe other readers might think this as well. Even though it is clear as one reads on that Bosco represents Rama, you could say something in the beginning of the story like "Penny and her best childhood friend, Buddy..." Overall, great stories and I cannot wait to read the remaining stories you will create!
ReplyDelete